Is it just me?!?
I'm about to take a ride on my menstrual cycle and was just thinking about how bloody (no pun intended) annoying having a period actually is.
For one thing there's the whole 'period bra'. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one but I go up almost a whole cup size and my breasts aren't exactly small in their normal state. It's ridiculous! Over the years, Mr Me has come to accept that this increase in size, whilst wholly tempting, is completely out of bounds. If he so much as dares to touch them I am likely to punch his lights out.
And that's another thing, what's with all this sodding pain? I'm seriously tempted to invent period shoes. Each one would have a large steel scaffolding pole with a cup attached to the top for me to rest my breasts on. Probably needs a bit more thought though - not sure how walking would work?!? Failing that I'd like a very small man (or woman. I'm not sexist) to stand on my shoes, like little girls do when they're dancing with their fathers, and just hold them for me. Hopefully it would take some of the weight off my aching back.
With the 'period bra' comes the 'period blouse'. Tops which are purchased specifically for this time of the month so that the buttons don't gape open when I least want them to.
Oh, and then there are the 'period pants'. OK, so I've already admitted to being a bit obsessed with pants so I'm happy to report that there aren't any Bridget's in my drawers but even I have a special range of comedy underwear for this particular time of the month. My current favourites have Woodstock & Snoopy on them though I am partial to my Betty Boops.
Thankfully I don't suffer monthly skin breakouts but, even if I did, I think it would be perfectly acceptable. After all, I'm not exactly at my most attractive in my comedy pants and reinforced bra. At least I don't feel very attractive anyway.
Though, somewhat ironically, I have got the raging horn! Mother Nature has such a great sense of humour.
Have I mentioned cravings yet?
I don't think I've stopped eating today. Starchy, heavy, carb loaded food and chocolate. Lots and lots and lots of chocolate. Um, and about 6 packets of Refreshers. When I get home tonight I'm having chips a pea fritter and I may just ask the nice chip shop man for a bag of batter bits. Any other time and the very thought would make me green - with sickness, not envy.
Oh, and seeing as how I'm on the subject....................................there was a moan coming there but I've managed to pull my horns back in and the trident has remained in my handbag!
I'm off to forage for pie & chocolate.
Coming from a man, I can't really comment but to say, thanks for the honest heart felt blog. It's good to hear how a woman actually feels whilst on her period. All attached men know women get moody and have sore breasts or nipples but your account shows there can be a lot more to it. Thank you.
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